With Open Eyes
by everlovingdeer
Summary: Seamus huffed, throwing me a hard look. "Don't get so close to boys." "I'm sorry – what?" "You heard me; don't get so close to boys – they're monsters." I chuckled incredulously, "If boys are monsters then what the hell are you?" He glanced at me for a moment before looking away without a word, "Is this your way of telling me that you don't count in that?"
1. With Open Eyes

Seamus Finnegan could kiss my ass.

The annoying boy had owled me three times yesterday to remind me that we'd planned to meet early at the platform so we could get a carriage together before the train became too overcrowded. So, I had arrived at the platform early, at the time we had promised, only to find that the boy was nowhere in sight. I really shouldn't have been surprised.

After spending near enough half an hour patrolling up and down the train in search of him, I had given up. Instead of continuing my useless search for him, I spied Hermione sitting alone in a carriage and ducked inside. She smiled at the sight of me and gestured for me to sit beside her after I shut the door behind me.

"I take it Harry and Ron aren't here yet?" I settled down beside her and she rolled her eyes.

"You'd have assumed that after coming to this platform for 6 years, that they would know when to get here by."

"Boys," I muttered with a roll of my eyes and the smile she gave me told me that she returned the sentiment.

"Gryffindor boys in particular," she muttered dryly.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to put up with my company for now."

"Believe me," she muttered, tucking her book away, "I'd pick your company over Lavender or Parvati's any day."

"That's because we don't share any of the same interests that they do."

"Hermione you'll never believe –" Ron's voice trailed off in the now open doorway in the train carriage. He paused, as if he was interrupting an important conversation. Over his shoulder Harry looked between the two of us.

"You _can_ come in, you know." At my remark, the two boys grinned in relief and hurried into the carriage and gratefully set their trunks aside. "There's no need for you boys to look so scared whenever you see two girls talking to each other."

"I don't know about that," Ron remarked meaningfully as he sat down beside me, "If there's one thing that the train wreck of fourth year taught me, it was that when girls are talking to each other it's better for us boys to stay clear."

"Did you think we were badmouthing you?" I couldn't help but tease as I nudged the boy sitting beside me.

Ron turned a shocking shade of red but he didn't deny my words, "It's the only natural assumption."

"Why?" I shared a look with Harry who paused his conversation with Hermione for a moment, as if he wondered just how long this conversation would last until I rendered Ron completely speechless. "Do you want Hermione to talk about you?"

His protests were instantaneous, "That – I didn't –"

"It's alright Ron," I insisted as I leaned in closer to him and lowered my voice. He glanced secretly at Hermione who was busy talking to Harry who was nodding absentmindedly at whatever she was saying. "We all know about your crush, I bet she knows too."

"Of all the ridiculous things you could possibly say," he spluttered, growing even more red as I patted his cheek in a gesture that I knew was patronising. "Jensen, you can't –"

"Oi," the unmistakable voice of Seamus called from the carriage doorway.

His eyes settled on Ron and I, narrowing when they landed on the hand that was still pressed against Ron's cheek. I hurriedly lowered it to my side and narrowed my own eyes at him in return.

"What time do you call this Seamus Finnegan?" I crossed my arms, "Do you not remember what time you told me to meet you?"

"What about _you_?" he threw back, "I've been looking for you everywhere. Dean's got a carriage waiting for us so hurry along, woman."

"You know what," Hermione piped up, "Why don't you go ahead Seamus? I need to have a quick chat with her."

Seamus hesitated in the doorway before looking back at me, "Come and find me when you've finished talking to Hermione."

"Ok, ok." I ushered him away, "I'll come and find you." Once Seamus had gone on his way I looked to the other girl and raised an eyebrow, "Mione? What did you want to talk about?"

Hermione folded the newspaper that had been lying on her lap and set it aside. She crossed her arms and looked between the two boys, "Ron? Harry? Do you think you can give us some time alone?"

"Why?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"We're going to talk about you of course," I deadpanned and Harry rose to his feet, taking a hold of Ron's arm and pulling him to his feet.

"Come on Ron, let's go and find the trolley." Harry pulled him out of the carriage before he could say another word and shut the door after them.

When we were left alone Hermione uncrossed her arms and leaned towards me. I couldn't help but lean away from her slightly, becoming a little unnerved by the knowing smile curving at the corner of her lips. Eyeing her closely, I waited for whatever she was going to say.

"Have you noticed something about Seamus?" she trailed off suggestively.

"Hermione, I spend about as much time with Seamus as you do with Harry and Ron." Merlin, that statement couldn't have been truer. "There's nothing you can tell me about Seamus that I don't already know about him."

"He has a habit of getting jealous," she declared, "Seamus has this habit of getting jealous whenever you get too close to a guy – just like he did when he walked in to see you with your hand on Ron's face."

"Is this your way of telling me that I got too close to Ron?"

"Of course not," she protested, before narrowing her eyes at me, "Now stop changing the subject."

"I've noticed his jealousy – I'd have been blind not to notice it. But what can I say?" I shrugged, "He's always been like this – I don't think he likes me becoming friends with other people and I guess he just needs to learn to share."

"I don't think that's it," she muttered as I rose to my feet and took a hold of my trunk.

"I'll see you when we get to Hogwarts. If I don't leave soon then he's going to come and search me out again."

Leaving Hermione behind, I headed down the train in the direction that Seamus had walked off in earlier. I peered into each of the carriages until I saw Dean sitting inside one. Opening the carriage door, I quietly thanked Dean as he took my trunk for me and lifted it into the overhead compartment.

"Don't thank me," Dean said back to me, just as quietly, "I should be the one thanking you – if you hadn't walked in when you did then I'd have been facing the difficult task of trying to stop Seamus from dragging you away from Hermione."

Rolling my eyes in response, I settled down besides the Irishman who was looking between Dean and I suspiciously. He only relaxed when I linked my arm through his and left it joined with his for the rest of the train ride. As the two best friends started to laugh and joke with each other I let the sounds of their mingling laughter wash over me as I wondered where I fit into this dynamic.

* * *

Sixth year charms was something I was regretting signing up for. Merlin, turning water in wine _shouldn't_ be this hard and yet I felt like I was coming to the end of my tether. With a sigh, I dropped back into my seat and frowned at the goblet of water that was openly mocking my lack of magical prowess.

"That's it," I declared to my desk mate as I set my wand resolutely down onto the table top. "I am _done_ – I can't try keep trying this. It's impossible."

"I couldn't agree more," Harry muttered under his breath as he too, dropped down in the seat beside me. "I think Mione's the only person who'll manage to correctly charm the water."

"I wouldn't be surprised." Casting a look around the classroom, my eyes landed on the professor who was busy looking through the stack of essays that was left to be marked. Looking at the boy wonder with an innocent smile, I couldn't help but ask, "You wouldn't tell anyone if I decided to slack off for the rest of the lesson? Our professor isn't exactly going to see us so they won't notice if you don't say anything."

"As long as _you_ don't say anything about _me_ slacking off," he proposed with a grin.

"You've got yourself a deal Potter." Propping my chin in my hand, I looked at him curiously, "So what are we going to do for the rest of the lesson? We've got 20 minutes left?"

Harry glanced away from me for a moment, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "Rumour has it that you're the person to turn to when it comes to matters of the heart."

"Merlin," I muttered with a roll of my eyes, "Those third year girls sure do like to gossip don't they? It's only because third year boys are completely predictable and anyone can see right through them. But if you asked me about _sixth_ year boys then I can't tell you a thing."

"So you won't be able to help me then?"

"Now I never said that Mr Potter." I grinned when his expression grew more hopeful. "I might not know sixth year boys very well but fifth year girls are another matter altogether."

"How did you –"

"Oh, please Harry," hitting his arm playfully, I leaned in closer to him, "You've managed to get yourself into quite the predicament there Harry. Only something like this would happen to you."

"Tell me about it," he muttered back as he too leaned in closer to me, lowering his voice as he continued to speak, "So, what's your advice then, what do I do?"

"Ginny's currently dating Dean, Harry, and whilst it might hurt for you to see the two of them together, you can't exactly go around trying to break them up. Doing that wouldn't make you a very good friend. And I don't think you'd want to do that anyway."

I glanced towards him, trying to gauge his reaction to my words but instead my eyes settled onto Seamus' glaring eyes. His glare lessened only slightly when he met my eyes. Harry, realising that I wasn't speaking, followed my eyes to discover Seamus' fascination with the pair of us. No sooner than the moment he laid eyes on Seamus did Harry shuffle away from me, giving me an apologetic smile as he did so.

"What?" I questioned, looking between the two boys and wondering what I had missed.

"We Gryffindor boys need to have each other's backs," he explained with a slight shrug. Realising that his explanation was of little help, he added, "That's the reason that I won't try anything with Ginny and I shouldn't be sitting so close to you."

With a frown, I glanced at Seamus who after receiving a thump on the back of the head from Dean turned back to his own goblet of water. Looking back at Harry, I asked cautiously, "Did Seamus tell you that we aren't allowed to be friends?"

"Godric, no." He eyed me in disbelief, "Why is that what you took away from my words?"

"It's a logical question," I defended, "Now, if he didn't say that to you then what did he say? And don't tell me that he didn't say anything to you – it's obvious that he did."

The lesson came to an end before Harry could answer my question and he hurried out of the classroom, knowing that I had no intention of dropping the matter unless I got the answer that I was after. I packed my things and watched him make his way out of the classroom when Seamus stopped beside my desk. Waiting for me to finish tidying up, he walked alongside me and out into the hall.

"What were you and Harry talking about?" he asked curiously as we stepped out of the classroom. "You were talking really closely."

I eyed him suspiciously, "Did you tell Harry that he wasn't allowed to be friends with me?"

"Of course I didn't." He shook his head in wonder, "Sometimes you say the most random things."

"Then why else were you glaring at the two of us when we were talking?" I nudged him with my elbow when his silence grew too long. "Well? Can you explain that to me?"

"I don't particularly want to."

"And why not?" I cried, staring at him in mild shock. Surely it made sense for him to tell me what I was doing that was making him so upset? That way I'd avoid doing it so he didn't become upset and make everyone else uncomfortable. "Unless you're lying to me and you _did_ tell Harry not to be friends with me?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I did no such thing?" He peered down at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Well why were you glaring then?"

"You being friends with Harry has nothing to do with my glaring," he insisted as we reached the entrance of the common room, "It's a completely unrelated matter and, just for your information, I _wasn't_ glaring. I have better things to do than glare at you during class."

I threw him a flat look which he ignored as he announced the password. "We both know that's a lie."

"Believe whatever you want to believe," he muttered under his breath as we stepped into common room.

He scanned the common room briefly before striding over to where Harry was standing and telling him that they needed to have a word. The two boys shared a short look before heading off into their dorm room.

Unbelievable, I scoffed.

* * *

Care of Magical Creatures was, in my opinion, the most dangerous subject that I could have chosen to take. Sure, there wasn't the chance of a turbulent potion exploding in your face or the chance that we were flung back from the force of a wrongly cast spell. But in this class, we were at the whim of a vast range of magical creatures that were always so unpredictable.

And Godric, I could swear that these creatures had it out for me. Not only did the bloody textbook try to kill me the first time I had picked it up, but the blasted creature had gone a step further. The freaking overgrown ferret or – as Neville liked to remind me – the Jarvey that we had been assigned to study spent the majority of the lesson insulting me. Once I had processed the fact that the creature could speak, I grew quickly disenchanted with it when it mocked my hair and then moved on to my other flaws. Neville had sat by my side trying to stile his giggles, even as he berated the animal.

Merlin, why couldn't we study Pygmy Puffs? Sweet, innocent, completely useless Pygmy Puffs?

To make matters worse, the creature had a temper and so, when Neville had approached it to get a quick measure of how long it was, it had lashed out. It clamped its teeth into his hand and Neville reared back in pain. I had tried to come to his aid but my interference seemed to make it dig its teeth further into his hand. The professor, realising the commotion, hurried over and quickly rescued Neville from the aggressive creature.

Neville stumbled away from the Jarvey, coming to my side and clutching his hand to his chest. I peered down at this injured hand with a concerned frown and let out a hiss when I realised just how far the Jarvey had dug its teeth into Neville. Throwing the creature a disgruntled look, I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at it when it was placed back into its cage.

"I think he needs to go to the hospital wing, professor," I said, despite Neville's protests.

"Of course." After casting a look at the hand Neville still clutched to his chest, she added, "Perhaps it'd be best if you accompany Mr Longbottom. It wouldn't do to have him fainting whilst he was on his way, now would it Miss Jensen?"

"Of course not Professor."

The older woman turned her attention to one of the other students and I snagged both Neville and my bags before ushering the boy out of the class. He tried to take his bag from me as we approached the hospital wing.

"There's really no need for you to take my bag," he protested, "I can just carry it myself."

"I hadn't given the bag to you this entire time so what's the point of giving it to you when we're already here?" I asked as we walked into the hospital wing and waited for Madam Pomfrey to make her way over to us, "Besides, if our roles were reversed, you'd be carrying my bag for me so why can't I do the same for you?"

Madame Pomfrey appeared beside us before he could say another word and after taking one look at his rather mangled hand, she tutted and pointed towards a bed. Neville made his way towards the bed and perched on the end of it as Pomfrey appeared from her office with a large bottle of something in her hands. Neville took one look at the bottle and blanched.

"What's the matter?" I asked as I settled down beside him and reached out to pat his knee.

"It's going to hurt," he muttered under his breath, closing his eyes in defeat. "I've only had to take a dosage of that concoction once before and it hurt like a bitch."

His uncharacteristic language threw me a little and I offered, a little cautiously, "Do you want me to hold your hand? It might help a little?"

He thanked me for the offer but ultimately denied it. Or rather, that was until he'd taken the outstretched spoon and downed its contents. The moment he had swallowed the potion, he took my hand in his and squeezed it with all his might. I made no sound of complaint and held onto his hand, eyes fixed onto his hand as it slowly healed itself. Neville made a small whimper of pain, screwing his eyes shut, as the last of the damage to his hand healed.

When the worst of it was over, he slumped against me a little and let out a deep breath. I patted his hand reassuringly.

"Merlin Neville, you're certainly a lot braver than I am," my awe carried across to him and he chuckled a little, sounding suddenly tired. "I don't know if I would have been able to put up with what you just dealt with, without crying."

Neville never got the chance to respond as the doors to the hospital wing were thrown open with a resounding thud. I jumped slightly at the sound, eyes travelling towards the now open doors before they settled onto the boy standing in the doorway. Merlin, I should have known.

Seamus eyes scanned the hospital wing until they settled onto my figure. The moment we'd made eye contact, he was soldering into the wing, towards the bed.

"Merlin, I heard you were in here," he said as he drew closer, "And I know you're extremely clumsy but how the hell did you wind up –"

His voice trailed off and I furrowed my eyebrows, "Seamus?"

"What the hell?" he asked outraged, eyes narrowing on the hand that was still clasped with Neville's before rising to the line of Neville's side which had pressed against me when he had slumped towards me for support. Shuffling uncomfortably, Neville straightened up and pulled his hand away from mine.

I looked to him, silently asking for an explanation. But before I could voice my question I found myself being escorted, rather forcefully, out of the hospital wing with my hand in Seamus'. Only once we had left the hospital wing far behind, did I pull my hand from his.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Eyeing the boy who was walking beside me with a raised eyebrow, I waited for his response. "Well?"

Seamus huffed, throwing me a hard look. "Don't get so close to boys."

"I'm sorry – _what_?"

"You heard me; don't get so close to boys – they're monsters."

I chuckled incredulously, "If boys are monsters then what the hell are you?" He glanced at me for a moment before looking away without a word, "Is this your way of telling me that you don't count in that?"

"You're right," he declared self-righteously, "I don't count in the list of boys that you shouldn't get close too."

"And why not?" I demanded but he deemed it unnecessary to give me an answer and I narrowed my eyes, "Fine then Seamus, let's say you're not included in that list because Merlin, you're not."

He faltered a little in his step, "I'm not?"

"You're not." Crossing my arms, I remarked casually, "I've noticed for a while now that you get mood swings at the same time when I get my period mood swings. Maybe our cycles have synced?"

He threw me a foul glare.

* * *

No matter how much I tried to push the thoughts of Seamus' odd behaviour from my mind, I found myself searching out an explanation for why he was acting the way he was. I was drawing a blank.

It wasn't that his behaviour was completely different to how he normally acted - it was just that his jealous was becoming more and more frequent. Except, could I call it jealousy? What reason did he have to be jealous of the time I spent with other people? I mean, I knew that when I felt jealous it was because Lavender or someone had brushed too close to his side whilst talking to him. Even then, I at least knew why I was feeling jealous. Figuring out the reason for Seamus' jealousy was another matter altogether. The male mind was a confusing thing that I had no hopes of understanding.

So, naturally, I turned to the smartest girl I knew.

I planned it carefully, waiting until we returned form the great hall to settle in for the night. Sitting in the common room between Seamus and Dean, my eyes settled onto the 'golden trio' as I turned a deaf ear to the conversation around me. Dean said something to me, something that it seemed I was supposed to respond to and nudged me in the side.

"What was that?" I glanced apologetically at Dean, catching the image of Hermione rising to her feet from the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry guys, but I think I'm going to call it a night."

"Are you feeling alright?" Seamus asked, concerned.

Giving him a reassuring smile, I rose to my feet. "It's nothing a good night's sleep won't cure."

Before either of them could say another word to get me to stay, I made my way towards the stairs and ignored Seamus' offer to take me to the hospital wing. Climbing slowly up the flight of stairs, I mentally went over the speech that I had carefully constructed. Only doing so was pointless. The moment that I had pushed the door to our dorm room open, the speech had flown out of my head.

Hermione glanced curiously at me when I remained unmoving in the doorway of the dorm. She raised an eyebrow and I flushed a little before hurrying towards my bed to change and brush my teeth. When I was left with no other excuse to put off talking to her, I approached Hermione's bed and stood awkwardly on the side.

"Can we talk?" I shuffled on my feet a little and Hermione, noticing this, gestured for me to sit on her bed.

"Sure, go ahead." She sat up a little, leaning against the headboard.

I went to speak, trying to remember the beginning of the script I had created. The words dried in my throat at the sound of the door opening as the rest of the girls came up the stairs. Clearing my throat, I played with the blanket underneath me, making the other girl give a prim sigh. Snagging her wand from the bedside table, she charmed the curtain around the bed to shut and cast a silencing charm.

"Alright," she set her wand down, crossing her arms, "Spill."

"I thought you'd be the best person to go to in this situation," I explained quietly.

"And what situation is this exactly?"

"You've got two guy best friends," my words didn't answer her question but it would all make sense in the end, "like I do, and well I thought maybe you'd understand. Especially given –"

"This is about Seamus, isn't it?" she asked suddenly, making me nod slowly.

"And I know that we have no chance of understand why boys behave the way they do but I thought two brains would be better than one? Especially when one of those brains belongs to the brightest witch around?" Clearing my throat, I tucked my legs underneath me as I got comfortable on her bed. "Do the boys – Harry and Ron – ever get really annoyed or angry when you're hanging around other boys or if other boys get really close to you? Because Seamus does and for the life of me, I can't figure out why? And well, I thought that if other boys did that too, then maybe it's just one of those male things that I can never hope to understand."

Hermione pursed her lips, spending some time thinking over my words.

"Not really," she said slowly, the thoughtful furrow between her brows disappearing. "But then again, Ron has been known to do that once in a while. There was the whole yule ball fiasco in fourth year and currently he's rather vexed by my asking McLaggen to the Slug Club party."

"But everyone knows that's because Ron's in love with you," I insisted with a roll of my eyes, "Even if he's currently playing tonsil hockey with Lavender."

Hermione scowled a little at the mention of the other girl before her features cleared and she gave me a pointed look, "So what does that tell you about Seamus' behaviour then?"

"No," I said instantly giving her a wide-eyed stare, "Merlin, _no_."

She rolled her eyes, "Do you honestly not see it?"

Scrambling to my feet, I hurried to my bed, "You might be the unbelievably bright, but you've got it wrong this time."

I walked to my bed without a single look back at Hermione and ignored the stares I was getting from my other dormmates as I drew the curtains closed around my bed. There was no need to be giving myself false hope.

* * *

I continued my façade of ignorance when I woke up the next morning and it seemed to amuse Hermione to no end. The little sly smile she sent my way each time I settled down to sit beside Seamus, was damning and thankfully, the boy was too oblivious to realise that anything was wrong. It seemed like I was a better actress than I'd originally thought as Seamus, the one person in the castle who knew me best, didn't realise that I was hiding anything. And that suited me just fine.

There was a sharp kick to my knee, pulling me from my thoughts. My eyes snapped up towards the boy sitting across from me and I frowned for him to see.

"What?"

"You're supposed to be helping me," Seamus reminded me as he gestured to his essay.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "This wouldn't be an issue if you actually did the essay when you said you would."

"At least you get to spend more time with me this way," he said optimistically and I rolled my eyes, outstretching my hand for the essay.

Peering down at the parchment, I muttered under my breath, "We already spend so much time together that I'm surprised there's any more time we could spend together."

"You love it really." He kicked my knee again, this time much more gently and when I looked up at him he gave me an adorable smile. "Isn't spending time with me much more fun than spending time with any of the other monsters?"

"Monsters?" I repeated the word curiously, only for understanding to dawn on me mere moments later, "By that you mean other boys?"

He nodded instantly, turning his attention to the open textbook in front of him. I couldn't help but sigh as I watched him closely. Surely, Hermione was smart, exceedingly so and that meant that she knew what she was talking about. Most of that time, that is –

So, was she right this time? And if she was then what did that mean for the feelings that I'd convinced myself were one-sided?

"Are you alright?" the question was asked gently as Seamus put his hand on top of mine, giving it a squeeze.

"It's nothing," I denied with a shake of my head. He was unconvinced and I tried to give him a reassuring smile, pushing the inner turmoil away. "Really Seamus, I'm fine."

"You should know by now that just saying that won't be enough to convince him," Dean said to announce his arrival as he too joined us at the table. "He's going to need a doctor's note or something."

"Oh be quiet, you tosser," Seamus muttered under his breath as I handed his essay back to him.

"It's nice to see you too, mate," Dean grinned as he settled into the seat beside me.

I glanced curiously at him, seeing sprigs of grass stuck in his hair. He met my eyes inquisitively and I shook my head, suppressing a slight smirk. Clearly, he and Ginny had got a little too carried away.

"You've got something stuck in your hair," I explained with a grin, reaching out to remove to grass from his hair. Dean ducked his head down towards me to ease the action and laughed a little when he realised just how much grass was coming out of his hair. "It looks like you had fun."

"I can't deny that," he said with a little chuckle as I continued to pull the final pieces of grass from his hair.

Dean cast a glance across the table, looking over at Seamus and I found myself doing the same. I shouldn't have been surprised by the glare that I saw etched onto Seamus' features or the frown pulling on his lips but I was. My hand hovered mid-air before I slowly lowered it to my side, meeting Seamus' glares with one of my own.

"Why the hell are you glaring?" I demanded, crossing my arms and pretending not to notice the way Dean was watching the interaction with a slight chuckle.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he apologised sardonically, "Is my glaring getting in the way?"

"It is, in fact." Narrowing my eyes at him, I continued to speak before he could speak, "You always do this and then when I try to talk to you about it you clam up and walk away. But you're being a massive pain Seamus. Merlin, it's like you've reverted back to being that fourth year boy who kept glaring at George Weasley because I was going with him to the Yule Ball."

"And?"

"And," I repeated incredulously, "that's all you can say? And? Fine – I want an answer and I'm not going to let you leave this table until you give me an answer to the question."

The sound of Dean's chair scraping against the floor brought my gaze away from Seamus. He grinned in blatant amusement when I met his eyes.

Packing his things away he said, shoulders shaking a little as he suppressed his laughter, "Don't mind me, I'm going to be leaving now and let you to talk this out by yourselves."

"Dean," Seamus called out to him before he could leave the table. It was obvious that he wanted him to stay.

"Sorry mate, this is something you have to do by yourself." Dean reached over to slap Seamus' shoulder encouragingly. "You better do it today before I end up saying something that I shouldn't."

With those cryptic words, Dean left us alone and I turned my eyes back to the silent man sitting across from me. Seamus' eyes flittered around the library before they eventually settled back onto my waiting figure.

I raised an eyebrow, "Well?"

He cleared his throat, "I'm not sure what to tell you."

"Really?" He nodded, resolute and I rose to my feet. "Well, let me just go after Dean, I'm sure he'll tell me what this is all about."

He was out of his seat in an instance, taking a hold of my hand to stop me, "Wait. Sit down, please."

When I had sat back down, I watched him curiously, "Well?"

He ran a distressed hand through his hair, "Can you not be patient woman? I'm trying to think about how to tell you."

"Well, honesty is the best policy."

At my words, he raised his eyes to mine. "Honesty, yeah? Fine, if we're being honest then I fancy the pants off of you. Have done for a while now and have been trying to get you to see that since fourth year but you only went and shacked up with George Weasley of all people."

My eyes widened a little as Seamus managed to render me speechless. I cleared my throat, "Yeah?"

His searched my eyes, amusement making the corner of his lips curve upwards, "Yeah."

"Well," I said under my breath as I lowered my eyes to the table, "maybe if you'd asked me first then I'd have gone with you."

Seamus reached out to put his hand on top of mine and I made no move to pull my hand away.

* * *

On the few occasions where I had allowed myself to picture what it'd be like to date Seamus, I'd always imagined that it would be a little awkward and it would cause our relationship to shift. Perhaps our interactions would become a little stilted, a little uncertain in the way we behaved around each other. Never had I imagined that it would be as simple as breathing.

There was no hesitation in Seamus taking my hand as we walked side by side or in me leaning into his side as we talked or sat side by side. But maybe it was because we'd done all those things from the beginning? Except we now, weren't just friends anymore. But it didn't mean that I was comfortable with declaring that fact to the entire house – much to Seamus' dismay. He was, as I'd always known, infuriatingly possessive but I wanted to keep it on the downlow for a little longer. Just long enough for Hermione to forget that she'd been right.

That was the reason why I headed down to breakfast on my own without waiting for Seamus, like he'd wanted me to. As I walked into the great hall, I spotted Dean already helping himself to breakfast and made a beeline for him. Settling down beside him, I threw him a look when he raised a suggestive eyebrow at me.

"From the way Seamus practically skipped his way into our dorm last night I'm going to assume that he told you," Dean chuckled a little, "It took him long enough."

"And how long is long enough?" I asked curiously as I poured myself a cup of tea.

"He'd kill me if I ever told you." Shaking his head ruefully, Dean let out a breath, "And Merlin, if he wasn't so scary then I'd have told you in a second."

"You're scared of Seamus?" I stared incredulously up at him, " _Seamus?_ "

"Hey! You've seen what he's like with fire."

"And let that be a warning to you," Seamus declared as he appeared behind Dean, "Answer that question for her and you can say goodbye to your hair."

"Oh please," I rolled my eyes, making a face as Seamus started to gesture for Dean to shuffle down the bench, "You say that as if you possess any ability of _controlling_ fire."

Dean rolled his eyes and moved further down the bench and Seamus sat down in between Dean and I.

"Good morning," Seamus said quietly, leaning towards me as if to kiss my cheek.

I grabbed a hold of a plate of toast and held it out to him, halting him from coming any closer to me. He narrowed his eyes at me but took a piece of toast anyway.

"What was the need of asking Dean to move seats?"

"Well I wanted to sit beside my girlfriend," he declared loudly, the one sentence bringing a still silence across the entire Gryffindor table. The cheeky shit knew what he'd done; he was grinning at me.

I grew red under the multiple eyes that had turned towards me and Hermione, damn her hid her smug smile behind her mug. With a defeated sigh, I buried my head in my hand.

"Merlin Seamus," I complained, peering at him from between my fingers, "I never agreed to be your girlfriend."

"Maybe, but you never disagreed either ."

Lifting my head from my hands, I gave him a glare. His smile never faltered, "If you had to announce it, why the hell did you have to do it in the middle of the bloody great hall?"

"At least the boys know to keep their distance from you now."

"They're my friends," I protested, pinching him under the table.

He let out a slight chuckle. "As long as they only want to be friends then I don't give a shit."

"You're unstoppable." Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes as he hid his grin by taking a bite of his toast.


	2. Epilogue

_2 YEARS LATER_

"You can't keep holing yourself up like this," Hermione remarked carefully from the open door of my bedroom.

"Of course I can," I declared self-righteously pulling my blanket down to meet the cautious eyes of my flatmate. "Merlin, you're already treating me differently."

"It's only natural that I do." Rolling her eyes, Hermione walked into my bedroom and sat down on the edge of my bed, "I _was_ the person you called for when your period was late and I _was_ the person that held your hand the entire time when you were waiting for the test result. It's only natural that I treat you differently because you _are_ different now."

I moaned pitifully at her words, drawing the blanket back up above my head. She sighed before reaching out to pat my head above the blanket, as we fell into silence.

"What do I do?" I asked eventually, peering out at her once again. My eyes reflected the fear I felt inside and I saw the emotion echoed in her own – she had no clue what to do either. "Godric, the battle was just over a month ago, I'm only _18_ and I'm, I'm –"

"Pregnant," she finished for me when it became clear that I wasn't able to, "You're pregnant."

"Yeah, _that._ " I let out a deep sigh, rubbing a hand across my face, "I don't know what to do and I'm so bloody scared."

"Scared that Seamus will tell you not to have the baby?" she probed gently, "Or that he'll want it?"

"I don't know," I moaned, burying my face in my pillow. "That he'll choose one of the two options and I'll be disappointed either way? Merlin, I'm only 18; why is this all happening so fast? I'd always thought I'd have to face this situation in my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. Not at bloody _18._ "

"Wait," she said suddenly, making me look cautiously towards her, "Didn't he come around the flat yesterday? And weren't you going to tell him?"

"I did tell him." With a sigh, I pushed the blanket away from me and sat up against the headboard. Snagging one of the pillows, I brought it to my lap and played with it as I avoided her eyes, "Or rather I just threw the bloody test at him and let him figure it out himself."

"And? What did he say?"

"That he needed to think." Raising my eyes to hers, I watched her eyebrows pull together in disbelief. "I know, right? Part of me hoped that he'd make the decision for me but he was just as clueless I was and now I haven't heard from him since he left the apartment."

"Maybe you should think about what _you_ want," she suggested quietly, "Do you want to keep the baby? If you want I can get Mrs Weasley to come over for a chat?"

"No," I exclaimed quickly, "that woman will have a fit when she finds out and she'll have me married off to Seamus by any means necessary."

Hermione tilted her head curiously, "And that's a bad thing?"

"It is if we get married only because of the baby. Those sorts of marriages, more often than not, turn sour and I'd never be able to live with that." Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the headboard and let out a deep breath, "If we end up breaking up a little further down the line, then I'd rather that we remain on friendly turns then go through a messy divorce." I was silent for a while, thinking over what I had just said and laughed at how ridiculous this situation was, "Merlin, just listen to me."

"So, what is it that you want to do then?"

"I don't know," I admitted, "And it terrifies me because if I _do_ have this baby, then I don't know if I'm going to be able to raise it on my own."

"You won't be on your own," Seamus declared confidently from the doorway and I met Hermione's eyes with my own wide ones.

"How long has he been there?" I asked her, watching as she rose from the bed and gestured for Seamus to take her place.

"A while," Seamus answered the question for her, as Hermione left the room and shut the door behind her.

He hovered a little awkwardly by the bed before sitting in the space Hermione had just vacated. Reaching out to take my hand, he held it between both of his.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, searching out my eyes.

"It's too early for there to be any morning sickness," I said quietly, "if that's what you're asking."

"It's not." He shook his head, using one hand to push some of my hair out of my face, "How are _you_ feeling? As you know I heard you talking to Hermione and whatever decision you take I'm going to support you one hundred percent."

"Godric's ghost," I swore gently as I met his eyes, "who'd have known it would have taken _this_ sort of situation for you to act like the mature one in the relationship."

He smiled a little, eyes gently drifting downwards until they settled on my stomach. I sobered a little. "I figured that you've done enough panicking for the two of us."

"Maybe." Licking my lips, I linked my fingers through his and stared down at our joined hands. "Merlin Seamus, can't you just tell me what to do? Make the decision for me."

"We have to make this decision together," he said seriously and I nodded knowing that he was right.

Biting down on my bottom lip I admitted cautiously, "I don't think I can get rid of our baby."

He let out a whoosh of breath, taking me by surprise. "Thank Merlin."

"You're – that's alright with you?"

"You don't realise how relieved I am to have heard you say that," he admitted as he pressed a kiss to my temple.

"So, where do we go from here?"

"It looks like we're raising our baby together," he smiled reassuringly, "And although I've heard your opinion on marriage, I do plan on eventually putting a ring on your finger; when you'll let me."

"Just because I'm pregnant, you don't need to –"

"I want to," he cut in, "And I have done since I realised there was a chance we'd die during the battle. I'll even take veritaserum and swear it to you again, if you don't believe me."

"It's alright, I believe you."

"Good." He took his hand out of mine and unzipped his jacket a little.

Reaching inside, he pulled out a stuffed rabbit and handed it to me. I stared down at the rabbit that I placed in my lap and ran my fingers softly across the white fur. Seamus outstretched his hand, brushing his fingertips gently across one of its ears.

Almost 8 months later, in a St Mungo's maternity ward it was the first toy placed into the crib besides our sleeping son. I watched from the bed as Seamus brushed his fingers across the fine hair on the sleep babe's head, the ring on his finger catching in the light.


End file.
